omg

Replying to the email was his first mistake. A mistake that would cost J.O.G. more than the amount he gave to Mr Bandabaloobi.

"Mr Bandabaloobi said he was from the Nigerian Bank" said J.O.G. "We first met when he wrote me an email explaining he needed me to transfer 3 million dollars out of the country because a rich old guy had died and the government was going to keep the money unless I could help and for this I would receive a percentage."

"I gave them my account details and bought a plane ticket to Nigeria to meet Mr Bandabaloobi and sign the transfer papers."

"Once I arrived I was beaten and taken to a small hotel room on the outskirts of town. I was stripped and kissed by dark and very hairy men. One of the men, named Carl, was very gentle and told me he loved me but the others were rough. So very rough. I struggled and told them I was a friend of Mr Bandabaloobi but they tied me up and took turns kissing my beautiful body, touching me and making me do things I had sometimes thought about and imagined, but had never expected to really happen because I am straight."

"The fact that one of the men looked like a black version of my dad kind of freaked me out and Carl turned out to be huge but like i said, he was very gentle and we just took things really slow. He's cool, we have swapped emails since. Nothing gay though, cause he knows I am straight."




"Having survived the ordeal and returned home, my only regret is that I missed my meeting with Mr Bandabaloobi and didnt get to see any african animals like giraffes and lions and those little things that peek up really quick and look around and then pop back down really quick. They are really cool. They are like those little dogs that live on the prairie. Cant remember what those ones are called either but they look a little bit like otters. They dont live in water like otters though, they live on the prairies. No, I dont know what a prairie is."

Field Trip

A post by Kimber. You know, the cool one.

The problem with college is that there are hardly any field trips. Since we all are getting kind of fed up with college, we decided to organize our own field trip to relieve the tension. It worked, kind of. I forgot that I had a big project due the next day, so for me the field trip made my stress worse, but I think everyone else enjoyed it. Just because I've had to do this all week in my creative writing class, I'm going to write about it in a series of haikus.

Wondrous household goods
Sofas and Swedish meatballs
Land of Ikea

Lost in the city
We fight over where to park
And decide it sucks.

Blood on the sidewalk
forms a trail to some
bushes. No dead body, though.

A hobo wants change
We have none to give, he shouts
You F***ing N*ggers

A German deli
Swiss cheese pickle sandwiches
Bittle flips me off

(Bittle is Nolan and Devin's four year old brother. He didn't really know what he was doing)

Nightmare on 13th;
truly a horrifying
place, but way too packed.

Independent film,
pink bathrooms, free water cups,
theatre to ourselves

Skin-walkers and beasts,
a drive through the canyon. Please
check my place for ghosts.