Pictures that I found on this computer

I thought I would remind you guys why we all love Nolan so much.

A Shout-Out

Kimber shouts.

Hello Nolan in Scotland. I'm sorry I keep missing your calls, but I am glad to hear that you're alive, in an awesome country, and presumably in good health. However, I am a little disappointed in the fact that you have yet to post more videos. We got you that camera for Christmas for a reason, don't you know?

oops in Brtian

This is Nolan speaking from England

Yesterday something really embaressing happened... Let me tell the story.

So I had to take a piss see, like we all usually have to do every once in a while. And I found a Toilet place. (I have a sneaking suspicion that they don't have toilets in the resturants if they have their own facilities in the middle of town.) What happened next was utter confusion. They didn't have sinks and soap dispencers they just had a wall with running water and a box that appearently was used to dry your hands. Anyway I waved my hands in front of the wall of running water and nothing happened. I was like >.>. then one of the water falls came on. So I proceeded to rince my hands. that's when a local came in and gave me a look that went kinda like this :/. then he unzipped his pants and started to pee in the wall with running water to the left of me. come to find out the box was used to soap wash and dry your hands, due to my ignorance I was washing in a urinal. I wonder how other foreigners deal with our customs? Do they drink out of the toilet?

wondering about shit and stuff

This is Nolan here

This question is for Devin and Kimber; how come when I'm signed out I can only see the nerd night announment post in "Nerd Night Posts," But when I sign in I can see the full glory of this blog spot with unicorn meat and the bravest warriors and awesome stuff like that? It's a mystery to the Nolan, and the Nolan doesn't like mysteries. One time there was a mystery of Nolans missing 700 dollars, and it was another mystery of how Nolans broke room mate was able to afford a new Playstation3.

In other news I'm going to Norfolk Virginia on may 21st. I'll be on a sub for a few months and it might be a miserable stressful experience. Getting qualified really sucks from what I hear.

As a last note I think the navy has made me dumber

this is a friend of mine who posts art up on DeviantArt. We went paintballing and played some pool; it was fun.

new york vids try not to sleep

so this is the train ride to new york
no wair maybe this was the train ride I forgot

Story Time

This is Devin.
The other day I was exploring the files on an old usb drive that we have. And lo and behold I was rewarded by the USB drive gods who presented me with an old story that Nolan wrote back in High School. (SPOILER!) It involves awesome so don't read ahead if you don't like that.
With no furthur ado, I present to you the story.




The Magic Painter
By: Nolan Renshaw

One day old Picador sat down and began to think. He thought of his life, he thought of his children, but most importantly of all: he thought of his weed. Ah yes, weed; the curer of all sickness, the brightness to every bad day, and the key to all highness. It was a fact that Picador smoked weed often.
On the table next to him were his personal belongings. These items included his brush, his pallet, a broken vase, a load of rubbish and obviously: his weed.

“MMMM,” thought Picador as he reached in his coat for matches. Suddenly a shiver went down his spine, “my matches,” he whispered to himself. “WHERE ARE MY MATCHES!?” Picador felt the heat rise in him as he realized what was going on. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” He Violently screamed, sending himself on a wild goose hunt.

During the hunt, Picador found it appropriate to throw chairs around. It seemed to soothe his soul. It also made the hunt more fun.

About an hour later, Picador plopped down to rest. “Where are my matches?” he sobbed, “Oh boo who, snort, sniff.” A sound caught Picador’s ear. “What was that” he said raising his head, “eek a Rat!” Yet little did picador know, this rat wasn’t just any rat, this rat was different, and he had some matches in his mouth. Unfortunately, before picador could realize the irony of the whole situation, Ratty poo ran away.

“Come back!” picador cried- Even though it was no good because rats couldn’t understand English.-“Come back.” The old man then dropped his head, got up, and walked softly back to his table. He looked around at his ruined house. “Amazing what a difference matches can make,” picador grumbled, and began his long depressing journey of painting a picture, without weed.

THE WEEDY END

Time to wipe the crack (FAN MAIL)

Today we got a special letter from a Boonshequa in Texas which reads:

Dear nerd night posse. I think kimbers stories are gay, please kill her and give all my love to Devin, (who has gone missing)...

The rest is just x rated porno stuff about the sexual things she did to devin while on a cruise in mexico. BOONSHEQUAS ROCK!

oh and her name was Patty



Today I Nolan will answer this fanmail by saying: WHAT THE HELL PATTY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! I Read throught that entire letter two whole times and not once did I see my name mentioned. That's sick and wrong, you should be ashamed. Oh and as for killing kimber. Devin's on that right now, so just hang tight and keep your panties on.

It's not too often we get fanmail but when we do it's pretty cool.

Scary Ass Navy Watch...

This is Seaman Renshaw with another important announcement:

Today I went on a special type of watch called a Topside sentry. Robot probably knows what those terms mean but since none of you really have any Idea what I'm talking about, I'll explain what I did in as short a sentence as I can: I walked in a building checking classified vaults and making sure everything was locked, then I returned to the front and gave my report to the Petty officer of the deck. That's what a Rover does.

When I first arrived to the Lewis Hall, I looked at its integrity and observed that it looked similar to those buildings you see in horror movies: abandoned yet functional. (It took me ten minutes to find the front door to that son of a bitch). When I got inside I immediately went on my topside sentry rove. I would now like to point out that I was the only person in the building other then the person on the front desk. I would also like to point out that the maintenance in this building was super shitty. the walls had mildew caked from years of negligence, there was a drinking fountain that was flooded and broken, weird sounds came from the upstairs, some of the doors opened and shut on their own. What creeped me out the most was the bathroom: the bathroom when you first enter, had a flickering light directly above one of the two stalls. There was also a shadow coming from underneath the stall like someone was there. When I looked inside there was nothing, the shadow was gone after that.

I also went upstairs where the weird sounds resided. There were no lights, but I was required to check a door there: the roof access. That door was dead bolted. I didn't explore the rest it to see where the weird sounds came from.

In the end I have to wonder what madness lurks behind these vaults. Could it be mythos beings from another dimension in whom we perform experiments on? Could it be a new source of power... that's evil? Or is it just the chiefs porno and I'm shitting myself for nothing

Mystery pictures

This is Devin. Since there has been an absence of posting as of lately, I decided to put up something. But also since I am feeling unclever I am going to have a contest. I will put up some pictures and I want you(the reader) to write your best captions in the comment section. I will then pick a winner and you will get a surprise prize. I promise it will be good.

Rules are as follows: Captions must be funny or clever(Bonus points for funny and clever)
Use the title of the picture then do the caption. Example: Picture 4: I like candy.
No being a butt and not participating.
Ok here are the pictures.

Picture #1.


Picture #2.


Picture #3

Picture Time

Kimber provides a visual to go with the previous post.

long time no see faggots

Nolan here with an important announcement: I'm out of bootcamp and things are a whole lot easier. The petty officers here are nice for once, I can say: "hey dude" to one of them without getting my balls chewed. The best News is that they finally stopped feeding us food from the garbage. I love the fact that I can finally have a nice variety

But alas I fear I might get fat again. I know it's only been a few days since I've out of bootcamp, and I know that I live up six flights of stairs, and I know that we'll get a Physical training three times a week. But I met alot of older subs: they're FAT! Fear for the future gentlemen.

HOORA RENSHAW

Nolan's postcard and one million giraffes

This is Devin.

Last monday we wrote another postcard to Nolan. It's a secret what the contents of the postcard actually entail. Especially since I didn't scan in that side and forgot what it said. But I drew the picture on the other side and I thought you would enjoy it.
Sorry Kimber. I know you wanted the printed out picture but Jarret asked me to draw it because he thought it would be funnier.

Also today, I discovered a website where a guy is trying to collect one million Giraffes. So far he has 5169 giraffes and so he still needs 994,831. He wants to get them all by 2011 and he has predicted that he'll need a drawing every minute in order for it to happen. So impossible in other words. Feeling sorry for the guy I drew a giraffe picture.
According to the guy's rules this picture counts as two giraffes. I also encourage all our readers/ writers to draw giraffe pictures. It would be fun.

And yes I know the giraffe picture sucks. I drew it in like five minutes so screw you.

2nd letter from Boot Camp Hell

This is Devin with an important delivery. Nolan sent us a second letter from Boot Camp telling us all about how retarded his shipmates are and how his butt gets eaten on a daily basis. Here it is. Be happy.
Also Kimber and I the other day were discussing a radical plan to gain more readership. There may or may not be more news in the next couple days/weeks/years. Stay tuned.

Letter time!

This is Devin and today there will be double posts. Lucky you.
I hope you will be able to tell the differences between my post and Kimber's. Remember that her post is at the expense of Summer whereas mine will be at the expense of Nolan. Lets begin.

Firstly, I found this in the mail pile today and thought that it was too good to pass up(look at the receiving address and click on the picture to make it more readable).
All I really want to know is if Nocan is pronounced with a 'k' sound or an 's' sound. Vote in the comments below.

Alright, this is the moment you have all been waiting for. Reading Nocan's letter. Here is the envelope he sent.

And here is the letter.



Fun times. Now who wants to put together a package?

Future Nolan

Hey you guys, this is Devin.
I would just like to share with you a quick clip I found on the interweb(don't worry this time I didn't steal it from failblog). This movie creeped me out SO MUCH that I decided that I must be staring through a hole in the space/time continuum and I was viewing Nolan in the future. Although I am a little hurt that there is no mention of me, or the nerd night posse. C'mon Nolan! have you forgotten us so easily?
If you want to visit Future Nolan's youtube page go here.


This man is so oblivious to the fact that his dogs will eat him in his sleep one day. I feel sorry for him. He is just so crazy.

Birthday Alert!!

This is Devin.
Tomorrow is Nolan's birthday. To celebrate we're getting him a giant cake with a gay stripper inside. I think Nolan should enjoy that. If you want to celebrate then call me up and we can throw a party where we partytime him.

I object too

This is Nolan I object! I need to be part of this argument too sense I'm clearly in the middle of it. *( please see the two previous posts). Kimber clearly raped me dry in that video, And Devin filmed it. I was forced against my will and I don't think I'll ever recover... :( also, I did not want to sing that theme song. (I was crying, not laughing).

If you viewers knew what these fags forced me to do you would cry for my sake, scream that something needed to be done, then watch pornos drink beers and do nothing.

Nolan is insane

This is Devin. Lately I thought that I should get creative with the way I introduce myself on my posts like the way Kimber or Nolan does it. But then I realized that like school, it's not worth the effort. So from now on you will probably just get "This is Devin" on all my posts. So put up with it even if you most likely don't care.
Recently Kimber, Nolan, Jerret, Jacob, Grant, and I attempted to film a Doctor Who movie starring Nolan. It didn't work out due to a non-existent script and a giggly crew. But nonetheless we still got some funny(and compromising) footage from the event.
Here is an outtake of a nasty orgy on an undisclosed bed somewhere. Watch the video and notice how Kimber clearly jumps into the fray only after she had made a successful escape. Don't ask her why she did it though since she will deny that she was on a substance at that time. Also at the end of the video you get to see Nolan's re-write of the Doctor Who theme song.

What happens when we all need to go to bed