Thursday, December 11, 2008

A public statement

This is a public announcement from Devin who is better known as 'poo-writer' or 'feces-blogger'. Kimber is a buttface.

Hello public, all I have to say is that I am deeply and sincerely sorry for my latest post on V8 monsters crawling out my butt. I only wish I could compensate you for the five minutes you wasted reading my terrible confession, butt alas I am too poor and sick. One day when my ship sails in, I will send everyone checks in the mail along with a list of things you can do in the future to prevent yourself from reading my next post. One suggestion I have is to make a list of interesting websites that you can look at so that when you realize that you're heading in the direction of this blog you can look at you're list and quickly divert yourself to a safer place.
Also I will be changing the blog name from 'Time to wipe the crack' to 'Time to wipe your mind of Devin's horrible poo story'. I am hoping that this simple change will make the blog harder to find so that less people will be exposed to stuff that they are not ready for.
I have to say sorry Jarret, Kimber, Nolan, and Grant for reading my post and expecting something better. I am sorry that only one of the four of you have a real job and therefore nothing better to do. If you want I can google jobs for the three of you to show how sincere I am with this apology. The last thing I would like to add is that Kimber may argue that she does have a real job but I know she doesn't since she subtly suggests that her income is AWOL. So if any of you have a heart send some money to this address.
[Address removed by Kimber who doesn't want to be raped in the night, or in the day, or at all.]
If your sending a check then fill it out to Devin Renshaw. I'm going to cash all the money so that Kimber will get a big wad of ones when I surprise give it to her and I can't cash it if it has her name on the check. It would ruin the surprise somehow.

4 comments:

  1. Giving a woman a bunch of singles, hmm....

    Seems kind of dirty.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! That's awesome. I love the material you find that makes fun of Twilight.
    -Devin

    ReplyDelete
  3. [Address removed by Kimber who doesn't want to be raped in the night, or in the day, or at all.]

    I would not like it in a house, I would not like it with a mouse....

    ReplyDelete