A Simile and Metaphor Writing Exercise

This is an excerpt from Kimber's creative writing class notes. This is an accurate example of the kind of notes I take in class; it would be funny if it weren't sad that I was learing so little.

My life story in S&M. Ha ha. I was born looking like a tiny raisin with angry fists attached. My childhood was as dull as a lead pencil after a visit to the testing center, but as imaginative as a Dr. Seuss story about inedible food. I really hate this class. Hate it like a recovering sex addict hates girls in short skirts and guys in clingy cashmere sweaters. Also, I’m still shakey from my last class and the presentation I did in it. I hate everything. I probably shouldn’t have worn heels today; it’s only adding to the distemperment. Additionally, my paycheck hasn’t cleared yet at the bank, and I really need it to. I don’t think I’ve ever actually finished one of these writing exercises. So, in the interest of tradition, I will now zone out.