How to Make a Hollywood Name

Kimber informs.

Everyone knows that a regular name isn't good enough to become a star with. Only people whose parents are crazy enough to give them freak monikers can go into show business with their own names (i.e. Paris Hilton). The rest of us have to rename ourselves before submitting to public scrutiny.

What everyone doesn't know is that there is a simple system to create a Hollywood name, with no need to slave over syllable count and consonant combinations. All you have to do is use your middle name for your first name, and the street you grew up on as your last name. For example, if your full name was William Edward Bunting, and you grew up on Wood Way, you would become Ed Wood. That's not really how Ed Wood got his name, but still, the system works.

For my own amusement, please submit your own celebrity name so I may mock it in private. Also, here's a little tid bit for your growing gee whiz collection: Cary Grant's real name was Archie Leach.