Why I Hate My Summer

Kimber complains

1. I’m in school. Summer can’t be enjoyed when one has to attend class and complete homework.

2. My clothes smell weird. I think it has something to do with my dog, or the fact that I air dry them, and so they’re getting moldy.

3. The sun is too hot. I know that without it we’d die, but it’s gotten a little too enthusiastic about providing light and heat for the world.

4. I don’t know what to do after graduation. My parents have questioned me enough about future plans that I now no longer look forward to being free from school, but only dread the real life responsibilities of finding a job, getting health insurance, and getting up at a reasonable time every morning.

5. Certain people. Certain people have gone crazy with power after certain people’s parents left for Europe. Certain people think they are the center of the universe merely by merit of going to work even though it’s summer time, but certain people also suck at taking responsibility for anything they won’t be applauded or paid for.

6. White guilt. I don’t know why, but in two out of my three classes, the unspoken title of the class seems to be “A Seminar in Why Whitey Sucks”. My professors and classmates both have an inability to study ethnic or minority literature without reveling in white guilt. However, they do it with an air of superiority for being able to recognize their privileged lives, and then go home satisfied that they have been smugly apologetic for the difficulties of troubled peoples. I just end up feeling miserable because of my pasty skin and supposed resulting racism.

7. Weeds. They grow faster than I can pull them, and Spartacus thinks that I’m playing a game every time I do yard work, so not only do I have to pull weeds, I have to simultaneously play fetch with my dog so he won’t drag the unwanted plants around the yard, thus causing them to take root again.

8. Utilities. I don’t have an air conditioner, and my upstairs neighbor does, yet she still insists on splitting utilities right down the middle, even though she keeps the AC on full blast in the dead of night when even a polar bear would be comfortable with the outside temperature.

9. Memory lapses. I don’t remember a lot of things anymore, like when my sisters ask me to do something, when I make plans for the future, or when I’m trying to complete basic household tasks. I blame the heat, but it could very possibly be early onset Alzheimer’s.

10. No vacations. Isn’t summer all about vacations? It’s called summer vacation, yet because of school, I am unable to go on weekend jaunts, road trips, family visits, or even personal retreats. The closest things I’ve gotten to a vacation since February was when my phone died and I found a candy bar behind my ramen supply.