...I feel a greater need to entertain you. (By Kimber)
Hello dear readers, I do apologize for our collective absence as of late. You see, Nolan is an ungrateful marshmallow who is not using his camera as he should, and Devin is busy discovering new hobbies. I'm just lazy, so I don't really have an excuse, other than that my family is falling apart, making it harder for me to steal food from them.
Since I can't think of anything else to write about, would you like to hear a bit of family gossip?
Excellent; but remember, this must stay only between you and me, dear reader, for you are the only one I can trust.
My sister, whose name starts with a 'C' and ends with an 'aralee' is being a giant butt. She has fallen for the twisted truths of my father and decided that my mother is evil. Not only has she decided this, but she decided to tell my mom this, and then call my mom a liar when she tried to defend herself. To top it all off, my sister then demanded that my mom pay for her summer and graduate school housing, or she threatened that she would move in with her boyfriend.
I should feel guilty gabbing about my family like this, but I don't, because my sister whose name begins with a 'C' and ends with an 'aralee' is an ungrateful bitch, and as we all know, ungrateful bitches have it coming.
So, dear reader, I have a mission for you. Carry a Sharpie with you, and when you find an opportunity, write "Caralee is a fathead" on some public surface, and then wait with me for the truth to spread.