Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Sternmeister

This is my good buddy. He's named Devon. He has a twisted mind and takes pleasure in the fact that he misspells the name 'Devin'(note the 'i') every time he writes it down. We all called him the Sternmeister.
I'll tell you more about him later. When I feel like it.

This is my cuzzy Lincoln. He likes to come over in the evenings and hang out at our house. He's cool. I guess.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Sorry contest is over. Nobody wins ha

I had a really difficult time picking between all the entries. I chose to stick with my name. So deal with it.
I want to have a little contest. But only after you look at this.

Yes. I am related. Please don't judge me.

Back to the contest. For a while now I have been disapointed with my blog title. I think it's a little dumb. So whoever can come up with a blog title thats really awesome(and fitting) will get a prize. The contest will end at 12:00 AM March 23, 2008. If noone enters then the title may remain the same. Sad? Then submit a title. Ready? Kay, go.

Questions answered.

What is tikey?

Tired. In baby talk. It's how we speak down here in Utah.

What the hell are you doing leaving your keys in your car? Thats just asking for it to be stolen!
It was at work in a hidden-like parking lot. If my coworkers wouldn't steal it then who would? I don't know.

Whats your favorite type of food?

Mexican. Hands down.

Why are you writing a blog?

To beat boredom. Sorry if my blog has the opposite effect on you.

I'm tired?

Yes, I am. See ya.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I am tikey

It's midnight.

I am tikey.

I haven't been to work in twoandahalf days.

And they basically threatened to fire me.

I'm going to bed.



Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I. Just. Got. My. First. Comment. Ever.

And I'm not even related to them.


My day has been made.

But I'm not stupid. Geez Kimber, chill out. It's not like anyone would really steal my car at work.

Nolan and Little Blacky want to know if you think they make a good couple.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Dude, where's my rollover?

My car tried to hide from me yesterday. And it succeeded.

A little history first.

I drive a Ford Bronco 2 to work. The first time I drove it to work Mark(40 year old dude I work with) took one look... and called it a Rollover. It's been called the Rollover ever since. Who's ever heard of a Bronco 2 being called a Rollover? I haven't. Back to the story.

My work is at a little publishing/distribution company called Covenant Communications. I spend my time in the shipping department and either push carts around and put orders together(we call them tickets, new orders are called sneaks) or do returns(which is what I do most of the time). Its a good job. Most of the time. Sometimes it sucks.

But more history. The geography of the joint goes like so. Theres a warehouse to the east. Parking lot smack to it on the west. Containers(like big ugly semi trailers only fatter and no wheels, I'll take a picture one of these days) to the south of the parking lot, and theres about 10 to 14 of them. We store extra crap in them that won't fit in the warehouse.

So heres the story. Work is finished and we all walk out to the parking lot. My Rollover is GONE! Completely. No sight of it anywhere. I was stunned. Dying comes to mind in these type of situations, I'm not sure why. Anyways, for some dumb reason I assumed that my mother came and got it. I don't know why I thought that. Brett(coworker) said,

"Hey Renny(nickname) do you need a ride home?"

I said,


So we got in the car and started driving. We drove almost all the way out of the parking lot and towards home when Brett slapped his forehead in shock.

"I forgot to tell James(another coworker) something."

I kinda wonder what he forgot to say when we turn the corner back into the parking lot and dum dee dum!

Theres my car.

Behind some containers. Hiding. Where I could only see it from my new vantage point. Brett started laughing hard. So did I.

"You got punked! ha ha You got punked! hardy har har"

"You guys are buttholes(I was laughing too). So who did it"

"I did ha ha. I was walking out to the containers when I saw your keys left in your car and I was like hmmm. laugh laugh laugh"

I get out of the car.

"See ya monday"

"See ya"

It was pretty funny. I laughed. Maybe you should've been there to see it. It would have been funnier.


I'm gonna get you.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Ready to roll out?

So I was playing Starcraft online the other day and enjoying being a little 'noob', as the more pro players would call me, and I stupidly made an observation followed by another stupid question. I looked down over my little map and noticed that all of a sudden I had three allies instead of just two. So I asked the question "how come all of a sudden do I have three allies?" Just so ya know, no one really answered my question. But one guy was kind enough to respond with some choice swear words. A little flame war might or might not have happened just then; lets just say that I was not happy after the incident. It made me sad. Afterwards I joined a game with some experienced(I mean whoa baby) but nice players and had a joyous little game where I got my butt kicked. It lifted my spirits a bit. Then I wrote this crap. Sorry if it was boring. I just needed to vent.

I'll make it up to you by posting this pic of Nolan.

"I am the Spirit of the Redwood Tree"


"Why art thou pissing on my crusty bark?"

"Ya gotta go when ya gotta go man"

"But why me? I mean... like just because I'm right smack by the road doesn't mean you have to piss on me."

"Well, you were convenient. sorry."

"Yeah and convenient to twenty other sum odd tourist' bladders."



A moment of silence please...

On March 1st 2008 at about 4:00, this poor, sweet German Shepard passed away. It was a (relatively) quick death.

This post is dedicated to him.

His name was Thunder.
Sadly, he chose to wile away his eight short years of precious life. While the family would leave during the day to pay the bills, he would sleep off his frequent hangovers and dream dreams that only true delinquints can dream.

His only other activities, besides napping and drinking, involved such risky acts as chasing squirrels, begging for handouts, barking at horses and other doggies, and pitifully asking for a good back rub. We bow our heads in shame; although this pup was well-mannered, he did not live a rich life.

He was survived by, Joslyn(mommy), Stephen(daddy), Nolan(old bro), Devin(me), Jenaye(sis), Larissa(little sis), Kenton(little bro), and Brysen(littler bro).

The murderess of this fine animal expressed sorrow. She confessed that she was a dog lover(but only of the dogs that she owned) and that she wanted to make it up to us(she did it on purpose she's lying). Apparently her car hit him(but not hard enough) and poor, sad, hurt Thunder wobbled down the road a few yards before the evil teenager jumped out of her vehicle and bludgeoned him to DEATH. No charges were pressed.

We dug a deep grave for this deserving animal. He was the dog of all dogs.

We shall all mourn his passing. I am crying right now as I write this post. That's how much this dog meant to us(me especially I miss him the most ha).

Oh, and the rat died too. We threw him in the garbage can.