Friday, September 4, 2009

We Are Now Copy Cats. Lazy Ones.

Kimber gives up on originality.

As all two of our readers probably know by now, we here at Time To Wipe The Crack are big fans of fmylife.com. Since I haven't been able to think of anything to blog about, but have suffered through a number of ironic coincidences recently, I thought I'd try writing some fmylife entries here on our blog. I would submit them to the real page, but I'm afraid of failure.

Just a note: not all of these things happened today, but it was close enough.

Today, I was visiting my great-grandmother in her nursing home. An old man on the elevator had blue tennis balls on the legs of his walker instead of green ones. I didn't think before I said, "I like your blue balls". FML.

Today, I sleptwalked early in the morning and wandered around rearranging my towels. I also left a lit candle on the edge of the toilet seat. I have only the foggiest memory of doing this, and have no idea why I felt it needed to be done. I hope I haven't done anything else in my sleep. FML.

Today, my sisters were tormenting my dog, who is afraid of the dark and non carpeted floors, by pushing him onto a concrete floor and turning the lights out. I intervened to rescue him, and he peed all down my front. FML.

6 comments:

  1. poor spartacus. And your sisters are jerks.
    Today, I was supposed to take Biddle to Kindergarden. I woke up about an hour and a half past the time he was supposed to be there. at noon(when kindergarden is over) he came downstairs and told me that he was going to be late for school. I didn't know that Biddle actually liked school. It broke my (f)heart. FML

    kinda a long FML but I figure the middle kimber FML is too long too so it's ok.
    Devin

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  2. Gosh. I've been waiting these past couple days and nothing FML worthy has happened. Nor can I think of anything FML worthy in the past month. Guess my life must be rockin'.

    -Grantula

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  3. This is Grant. Lincoln partytimed me. FML

    I don't know the last time Lincoln actually party timed you Grant. Tell him to get on the ball. He's been lacking lately

    -Devin

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  4. I have never been partytimed, although today is an fml for me due to metaphysical reasons.

    -Grant

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  5. I really am Devin or Nolan or Grant.September 11, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    If the old guy would have said, DO you mean the tennis balls, I'd have said, can't it be both?

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  6. It would've been funny too if he had green tennis balls and she said,"I like your green balls" and he said "do you mean the tennis balls?"

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