I am injured

This is Devin.  I said once in a previous post title that I like to longboard.  It's true.  It's great fun. Except it stops being fun when you crash and get booboos.  Then it gets ouchey-wawa. 

The image below is actually not from longboarding.  It's from a kitchen knife.  I had eight stitches.  The funny thing is that it hurt less than the road rash does.

It hurt pretty bad.  All those nerve endings are sensitive.  

I'm so hardcore.

At least I wore a helmet.  But if you ever decide to longboard, knee and elbow pads and gloves come recommended.
I got my sexy face too.  I'm wondering if I'll ever have to shave there ever again.

Sorry for the bad resolution on some of the pictures.  I was trying to use our camera and couldn't figure out how to do the focus.  

Maybe someday I'll post a picture of my longboard.  Or maybe a vid of me longboarding. That would be cool.  We'll see I guess.

P.S. Kimber's computer super friends will never surpass Nolan and mine's computing power.  She's too poor for that.

Blistering Heat

This is Kimber.  I'd like to start off the blog by acknowledging Nolan and Devin's absolute supremacy when it comes to computers.  Their set up was horrible, but now it's light years better than mine.  I am still using the computer super-squadron, by the way, though I'm borrowing a friend's computer to type this.

Onward, though, to the main point of today's blog.

It is hot.  Very hot.  Blisteringly hot (like how I worked the title in there?)  We live in Utah, land of few trees and no night life.  There's really no respite from the heat, unless you have air conditioning or a basement.  I'm lucky enough to live in a basement apartment, but still find it necessary to venture out during the day time.  During these rare entrances into the surface world, upon exposure to light and heat I usually strike a pose similar to that of the wicked witch of the west after Dorothy threw water on her.  It's not pretty.  And, unfortunately, I don't have green skin to protect me from the sun's harmful rays, so instead of my normal milky white color, most of my exposed body has turned the color of a stop sign.

Unlike most of the schmucks that live here, I hate warm weather.  Not even hot weather, Just warm weather does me in.  Hot weather is detestable to the point where I literally hibernate given no other alternative, such as a night job, or trees lining the path to my car.  Now that summer is fully upon us, I am left with limited options.  It got up to 95 degrees today, a fairly regular reading for this area, and it doesn't look as if the weather's going to change any time soon.

So I have formulated a number of plans in solution to this.  I'll outline them for you here:

1. Contract Leukemia.  Hospital rooms are air conditioned, have cable, and are super clean.  In addition, one gets to consume a lot of Popsicles during chemotherapy.  The only tough part would be to fully recover by October.
2. Fake my own death.  My parents are looking into buying a family mausoleum, which would be easy enough to get out of at the end of summer (I'm not up to the sort of thing the Bride had to do in Kill Bill Vol. 2), and would stay plenty cool, what with being insulated with two and a half feet of marble.  The downside would be paranoia, night tremors twenty-four hours a day, and cold feet.  The upside would be blissful silence, and an almost certain spoiling rotten of me when my bereaved family finds I'm not dead after all and wants to show me how much they love me before it's too late.  Again.
3. Move to Alaska.  I'm not really sure if it's still snowing up there or not, but I'd get to see polar bears, it'd be a lot cooler than here, and I might be courted by a Charlie Chaplinesque fellow (from The Gold Rush) while working on my super-dangerous yet extremely-high-paying job as a fisher woman.
4. Create a bio-dome that covers the valley.  I came up with this plan many a summer ago when I thought I was going to die while marching on sizzling asphalt in 115 degree heat in a wool suit while playing an unwieldy instrument.  Just before I passed out and was pulled off the street by the anti-spanking pamphlet dudes, it occurred to me that we weren't taking full advantage of living in a valley.  I spent the rest of the summer drawing up blueprints for a huge contact-like structure that would sit on top of the mountains and provide a blissfully balmy climate for all valley residents.  I was a little dismayed to find that The Simpsons Movie used the same gimmick, but as a method of entrapment from the outside world, rather than as a respite from it.

Those are all the ideas I have for now, but don't be surprised if, in desperation, I find some way to not only reverse global warming (my butt) (my butt there even is global warming, not my butt that I'll ever be able to stop it.  I think Al Gore is a joke, and I've crossed Win a Nobel Prize off my life list because if they're going to hand the things out to whoever makes a movie out of a slide show and then sells in in ridiculously impractical packaging claiming it's "environmentally friendly", then I don't want one), but bring on a new little ice age, similar to the one that took place in the 14th century (Google it, it's pretty cool).

P.S. No, you stick it Nolan and Devin, someday I will have a computer more powerful than the energizer bunny.  Then we'll see who's laughing.

New computer now so stick it Kimber

So before Kimber mentioned that even though her computers sucked hard they were still better than what the two brothers(me and Nolan) had to use.  Well she's a liar.  LIAR!!  

Well, liar since we got a new Mac about a week ago. 

 

Sexy.

Very Sexy.

Nolan forked out 1990.37 for this piece of heaven.  

Below is our old computer that our family uses.  It really does suck balls.

This is Nolan playing Guitar Hero.
It's a fun game.

sexy ghosts spotted

Hi this is Nolan. Devi's Brother. I was told to write a blog every once in a while even though i cannot write.  This is a big handicap of mine. I do not expect sympathy though. I brought this weakness on myself for goofing around in school all my life, instead of paying attention.

A strange occurance has come to the Renshaw house, it's a phenomenon that only happens once a thousand years. And no it's not the fact that a sexy ghost appeared in my room like the tital states... it's the fact that we actually made friends that do crap with us.  The Renshaw blood line is known for not making friends, it is a tradition that has run through our history for thousands of years. my ancestors got their wives by hitting them over the heads, dragging them into the bushes and showing off their amazing sensual bliss skills. which was so amazingly heavenly that the woman bitch could not resist the young Renshaws charm.  But we broke tradition and now we go in round abouts with our dork friends that we steal money from.   

In My Defense

This is Kimmy, or Kimber, that girl that's going to start helping Devin and Nolan with the Time to Wipe the Crack Blog.  I'd like to start off by explaining that the Editing Whore post was supposed to be more than just the title, but my computer is super old, so it wouldn't load anything more than the title before it shut down.  In addition, I'm not sure if it saved it or not, as the computer doesn't support any of the office programs.  I'll try to get the original post loaded sometime this week, but we'll see how that works out.

By the way, this post works because it's being typed on Nolan's brand-spanking-new Mac.  He just bought it, and I mean just barely.  This baby has been out of the box for less than two hours and already we've downloaded some awesome porn, solicited children for sexual abuse online, and written this blog.  Actually all we really did was argue over what the desktop picture should be, and what dashboard widgets to download.  We're cool like that.

I really have nothing else to write about, but I'd like to give a shout-out to my homeboys and girls in the Nerd Night posse.  Those are kind of the only people I know at this point because I'm somewhat of a recluse, and that's about to become much worse with the new Mac.  I'm a mooch, so I'll be using it a lot.

That brings up another subject.  Nolan and Devin need a firewire, and I happen to have an extra one that I don't need.  I bought it in the store for forty dollars, So I asked for thirty.  Then we looked up firewires on Amazon, and found most for ten dollars, and some for as low as ninety-three cents.  So, dear readers, if there are any of you out there, we would like to know how you feel on the matter of me ripping off Nolan and Devin; should I do it or not?

Sincerely, 

Kimber

Me, Kimmy, and Noley

So supposedly starting a couple weeks ago my brother Nolan and my friend Kimber are going to help me co-write this blog so that we can get it back on it's feet. But Kimber has written one post and it's just a title. And Nolan prefers drawing and sleeping to blogging. And he likes to whine a lot too.

This is the creepy man that lives in my potty. That's why he's so greasy looking.

I like to longboard and keep smearing my blood all over the pavement!

Sorry I never posted anything here.  Oh, but now I have put something under the title. Nevermind.  Have a nice day

I Am An Editing Whore with Crappy Computers

Devin recently realized that he can't keep the blog up on his own, so he enlisted the help of his trusty friends. I am one of those friends. There are three of us in total, and with three people posting, you can look forward to more regular blogging, more interesting stories and opinions, and a more schizophrenic narrative on the web.

What I'd like to write about today is a source of much frustration to me, and to many people in my situation. I am a poor college student who wasn't given a computer of her choice before she was sent off to a venerable institution of knowledge, so for the last four years I've been stuck using the junky school computers and substandard hand-me-downs. For example, I was just given the computer I'm writing this on by my parents. It was originally bought in 2003 to serve as a teacher's computer in the local school district, but that teacher was forcefully retired after throwing an orange at a student who pointed out that he really never would use algebra after that class. So my dad, the school's computer teacher, refurbished it (code for deleted all the teacher's files) and gave it to me. That is the story of how I got the newest computer I've ever owned.

This is actually an upgrade from the computer I was using. That was a laptop from 1999 that ran office but didn't connect to the internet, and which had no working keyboard. I really used that one as part of a computing team, which included a desktop which would connect to the internet, a first-generation mac book which I use to edit movies on, and a TI-89 calculator, which probably had more memory than all three computers put together. I also used a suite of thumb drives to save everything on. There were two 2 GB ones that served as hard drive and back up, and one 264 MB one that served as working thumb drive that I could carry around with me. In addition, I had a keyboard to connect to the laptop that ran word, and speakers which I plugged into whatever computer I was using at the time, or into my music brick, a second generation iPod with 10 GB of storage, and a body large enough to flatten mice with. All of these components together created a force which would make my computing power equal to that of a single, up-to-date computer circa 2001.

With this new laptop though, I've been thrown three years forward, and am now more powerful than I've ever been. Mwahahaha. Or at least so I thought until I realized this computer doesn't have word, or any Microsoft office application. That's the main reason I'm working on this blog, rather than on the research paper I intended to start tonight. However, I still have a better computer than the two boys who work on this blog, which brings me to my second point; I am an editing whore.

You see, Nolan, Devin, and I are all very fond of making movies. Some of them (all of them) may not make sense, but we still like making them. Devin bought himself a sweet camera, so we can shoot them without lugging around my clunker camera which records directly to VHS (yeah, it's that old), but none of us can afford a computer, thus the need for me to keep my old Mac around. It would be pretty nice to have, except for the fact that it has almost no memory (remember the calculator remark? I wasn't kidding about that). There's less than 2 GB of empty space on the whole computer, which means I can only edit five or so minutes of video at a time. That kind of sucks, but luckily none of us are thatambitious, so it's been fairly easy for us to keep our video projects to five minutes and under.

The reason I'm an editing whore is that since I'm the only one with a computer that has a reasonably good editing program on it, and because I'm fairlyOCD , I am the only one allowed to touch the computer, and therefore the only one that can edit our movies once they've been put on tape. Even ones that Nolan and Devin come up with themselves. I bet it's really annoying for them to have to have my opinions, views, and ideas forced onto their creative projects while I scream at them to not touch anything in my apartment because their hands are grimy, but until they pony up for their own computer, they'll have to learn to deal, because with a computer team this size, I don't have the sanity to pay attention to much else.

Until next week,
The Girl