A prime suspect to perversion

This is Nolan

We recently went on a secret investigation to find out if Douglas was stinking up our room. What we discovered was much more horrifying Then we imagined. :-@ (silent screams)

The funny part is that he didn't know we were filming him. He still doesn't. (let's keep it that way)

The band in this movie is called the John whites. They're actually pretty good.

Sinless City

Hey this is Devin. Nolan and me made a video today. It's so super awesome that we have to share it with you. Here it is. Bask in it's glory.

Drowning in Junk

I'm drowning in junk. I have too much of it. The problem is that it all has value to me, or I'll feel overwhelmingly guilty if I throw it away. A book from five years ago that I picked up off a "free" pile outside a professor's door might have the seed of an idea that will lead to the greatest play ever written. I played with a card set for years; it would be ungrateful to throw it away. The furby that my grandmother gave me years ago will somehow find its way out of the trash heap and to my grandmother's house where it will proceed to tell her just how much I don't love her because I threw something she gave me away. Those things are really annoying.

I've been sorting through junk all week, and I still have rubbermaid bins full of the stuff. The sad part is that I really wouldn't miss most of it if it were gone, it's just that when I see it I can't bring myself to throw it away. The honest truth is that I dream of fires that will relieve me of my stuff and leave me outside my burning house with nothing more than pjs and my teddy bear. Seriously, before you write me off as crazy, think about it; if your house burned to the ground, you'd get a wicked sweet insurance payment, and you wouldn't have to deal with all of that bothersome memorabilia.

Really though, I've come up with a grand plan for dealing with my stuff. Every time I have to sort it, or move it, or go through it, I get more and more fed up with it, and so more likely to throw it away. Because of this limited amount of patience, I've decided to dedicate one day out of every month towards de-junking. I know the experts say to spend only fifteen minutes at a time working on stuff, but the experts underestimate my temper, and are also full of crap. Hopefully, after three or four months of doing this, I'll lose it completely, pull all my stuff outside, throw it in the yard, and set fire to it myself. This would not only get rid of stuff, but save me from having to get a new house, which my previous dream would have required.

This may be boring to the rest of you, but since it's what I've spent my week doing, it's very important stuff to me. Oh yeah, Nolan and Devin are booger brains.

I pissed off a patient cause he sucked

Hi it's Nolan again I thought i might write about my horrible nursing experience last friday. I had a monsterously busy scedule last week and some of my patients were not making it easy. one patient in particular was giving me a very hard time. He looks and sounds like the old guy who whistles on the family guy. He's gay too so I wonder if it's the same person physically reanimated into a human being.

He Constantly has a huge list of chores for me to do, and at the same time he insults me by calling me explicit things. The other day was really bad, He complained because i didn't shut a cupboard door the last time i was there, and he said I was senseless.

Now There's a rule for all CNAs that says we're not aloud to verbally, sexually, or physically abuse our patients. But that day I was severely tempted to kill the old fart.(not rape him, kill him). Also: there is no rule that says we have to put up with verbal abuse, so naturally this is what down:

I was about to go but he wanted me to rub lotion on his legs.

I said: "i'm sorry jim but i think i'm to senseless to do that"

He got Mad and called my office crying and saying I was spitting wise cracks at him all week long; and not doing my job, and other stupid lies like that. They didn't believe him anyway, I knew they wouldn't. By the end he signed my paper and I told him I didn't want to be his enemy but he had to stop insulting me, he scoffed at that so I continued to say that there was no way he would get me fired and I wasn't scared of him. He told me he just wanted to make sure I wasn't gonna return to his home. I concluded by saying: "well you'll be doing both of us a favor then." That made him even more mad but I left, I hope he succeeds in keeping me out.

working makes your irresponsible friends hate you

this is Nolan

So it's been a while since I posted, I have a darn good excuse too. Truthfully I have a job that demands I wipe man butt. it's very sad, especially since some of my patients are homosexual. Recently my job has demanded more hours out of me. this week is especially terrible in that I have two or three extra patients that i usually don't see, the reason for this is not however: unknown. Some of my evil coworkers decided to go on a week vacation. This is disturbing to me because I had planned to take a compass test to get into UVU. in all truth i can't do that this week because i practically work the entire day from four in the morning, till four in the evening, indulging myself in various tasks like oil changes and "gay stripping." Life is usually good but at the moment it sucks. I wish this trial would end so i could write a bigger blog instead of listening to my irresponsible friends bitch and call me a voyeur.  

 

by the way Devin and Kimber.... oh what the hell, I have no witty comebacks to your rude accusations, :-<>

Michael Bay writes Batman: The Dark Knight

This is Devin again.  I just found out that Michael Bay submitted a script to Warner Brothers for the new Batman movie.  You can find that hilarious script here .   

The sad thing is that if Michael Bay really wrote Batman it wouldn't be much different.  

So go read that script.  It's all I've got to offer today.  

The Truth, or at least The Parts I'm Interested In

I'd like to point out that we were all doing fine with posting until Nolan decided to skip a post and muck everything up. Then I didn't post because I wasn't sure if he was going to or not, and then Devin took advantage of the whole situation to make us out to be horrible people. Nolan is kind of a voyeur though. No, the truth is that I'm too lazy to do much of anything anymore. I blame the heat, but it's probably a combination of factors.

I think it only fair that all of you should know the truth about the Ghetto Films Contest. Devin is really starting it because Nolan and I are both too lazy to help him make a film to enter in any contest. The only things I'm interested in anymore are books, movies, television, and food. I should probably figure out a way to make money, but I'm more satisfied scraping by from month to month than I would be working. I'll have to find a job in the fall so I can pay for school, but until then, I'm intent on doing nothing with my life.

Just as a matter of curiosity, if you read the blog, could you leave a comment saying as much? I don't think we really have any readers besides ourselves, which is a little discouraging. If you do actually read our posts, thank you kindly and tell your friends.

Really, that's all I can think to say at the moment. Goodbye.

Ghetto Film Contest

This is Devin again.   Kimber likes to bitch and Nolan has a new hobby in voyeurism.  These wholesome activities take up all of their their time.  Hence why you are hearing from me again and not from one of them.  

So I have decided to hold a little film contest.  I'm not sure how it'll work yet but I'm making another blog that will be specifically geared towards this historic event.  If you want to learn more than go to Ghettofilmcontest.blogspot.com or just click on the link in my other blogs list. Go there.  Do it.  

Here's another little animation that I made for Nolan.  He also coincidentally owns a film company known as Tattered Moth.  Sometimes Wild Herr and Tattered Moth collaborate on projects.  Usually something awesome springs forth.  Sometimes not so awesome.