Halloween is upon us

Devin speaking.

Today is Halloween and the tradition is that you give me all your candy. This is so I can inspect it for poisonous substances that could kill or permanently screw your brain up forever. So if you want to be safe then send me an email and I'll respond with my address. This email method is to prevent porno companies from spotting my address online and sending me free junk. This is also to prevent stalkers from hunting me down and stealing my virginity while I'm asleep. My email is cactuswren75@gmail.com in case you're stupid and can't just click on my profile.

Also just in case you didn't psychically figure it out, this post is the special limited edition halloween post that was supposed to blow out your mind. Unfortunately, like usual I have nothing to really write about. I've noticed that lately most of our writing starts with no idea and ends with no idea. It all kind of has a pointless feel to it. Except Halloween isn't pointless, Halloween is awesome. It's the only holiday where you can dress up and get tons of free crappy candy. And if your too old then you still have options: you can take your younger sibling, your nephew/niece, or even your own child. In fact if you have a kid then you're kind of obligated. Every kid should get the chance to trick or treat.

I hope you all have a fun, safe halloween. I'm serious. Don't get a razor in your apple.


P.S. If you wanted something to look at then click here check out some crazy good pumpkin carvings.

A humble suggestion for improving college

This is Devin. If you have been following our posts then you already know I go to a university called UVU. If you haven't been following that's ok but keep reading.

So the other day i was strolling nonchalantly down the butt-ridden halls of said UVU and I spotted a suggestion box for the Student Government. Immediately this inspired some serious suggestions for UVU that would definitely improve everyone's overall college experience. Here is the first suggestion that I wrote. Take it seriously and maybe one day it could happen.






By the way right now we are holding a poll on what you want to be posted. Whatever gets the most votes will actually be posted. And yes I know this can be rigged. So what.

I Forgot

This is Kimber

I'm sitting on campus waiting for the bus, and I thought I'd write a blog really fast. I had something funny to write about; it would have been purely for entertainment purposes, but I completely forgot what it was I was going to say.

So consider this the blog equivalent of the kid who raises their hand in class, and then, when called on, says "I forgot".

Trapped!

My name is Renshaw. Devin Renshaw.
Today I found On Demand an old Bond film in the seventies that had Shawn Connery in it. The into was pretty good up until someone else in the room said they wanted to watch something else. So instead I discovered "Starsky and Hutch" on AMC and we watched Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Snoop Dog jump around and fight crime. It was intense.

So after watching "Starsky and Hutch" and part of "Ocean's Eleven" I left work and came home to my grandparents house where I am presently living. I came home to an expected party that my cousin Lisa was putting on for some friends of hers. What I didn't expect was how boring and clickish the party was going to be. Not to say that it was boring for everyone else. The only people that weren't having fun were Nolan, Grant(my cousin), and myself. So after about an hour or two of being shunned by all the BYU faggots and unsuccessfully convincing Nolan to leave with me, I retreated to my room. Then I proceeded to write this post. On a side note here is another drawing of mine.

What Kind of Sick Studies Does BYU Perform?

Kimber writes.

The BYU website has a series of photos that scroll through, which are meant to impress you with how much progress the University is making in research in particular fields. The following is a picture meant to be representative of one of those studies.



This poor kid. Just think how traumatized and screwed up she'll be for the rest of her life, just so that some graduate student could have a thesis to hand in. That's all I really wanted to say. I found a funny picture, I shared it with you. Enjoy.

By the way, I don't dislike BYU, I just think their choice in pictures was a little strange.

What I Did This Weekend

This is Kimber.

This weekend was my little sister's birthday party. She's a gymnast, so she has very fit, athletic, energetic friends. They require a lot of entertainment, so we usually make a movie with them; something that requires a lot of work. Here is this year's result.



Oh yeah, I'm probably going to have to pull an all nighter tonight, because I skipped writing a very important paper in order to edit this movie. Also, I know it's not perfect, but when you have a dozen girls screaming at you, it's very hard to keep it together enough to make a coherant movie. Just enjoy it for what it is. And if you get the tribute to the baptism scene from The Godfather, I'll make you cookies.

Dead Winter Blues

This is Devin the great.
Lately the writers of this blog have had trouble shoveling out post material for this blog. I actually cannot speak for Kimber since the reason she doesn't post very often is probably because of her lack of internet. Also I'm not sure about Nolan either since the only proof I have of his negligence is that one: he is negligent on his writing posts and two: he said, "No" today when I asked him to post today and three: he is obsessed with Deviantart. I don't think the last one really counted but that's what he usually does on the computer instead of posting so I decided to throw it in. Honestly the only person I can speak for is myself.
The reason I am posting this post is because lately nobody has really been posting very often as of lately. And I wanted to attempt to provide a small happy post for our readers to hold them over until more writers begin posting again. So here it is. Here's a comic that I drew. Yay.



Sorry but I really did't have much to say except that the Haunted Forest in American Fork is slightly different this year and is thus more awesome. Although Psycho Manor is just the same. Too short but still sweet. If you live in the Provo, Utah area you should definitely check it out.

McButtnuggets

So this is Devin. I really have nothing to blog about. So instead I'll just put up a picture from my sketchbook moleskine. This is Kimber's favorite picture in my moleskine. It ain't too shabby. So feast your eyes upon this picture. It's all I have.

On another note, um, Grant and Karina keep reading our blog. Please.

Field Trip

A post by Kimber. You know, the cool one.

The problem with college is that there are hardly any field trips. Since we all are getting kind of fed up with college, we decided to organize our own field trip to relieve the tension. It worked, kind of. I forgot that I had a big project due the next day, so for me the field trip made my stress worse, but I think everyone else enjoyed it. Just because I've had to do this all week in my creative writing class, I'm going to write about it in a series of haikus.

Wondrous household goods
Sofas and Swedish meatballs
Land of Ikea

Lost in the city
We fight over where to park
And decide it sucks.

Blood on the sidewalk
forms a trail to some
bushes. No dead body, though.

A hobo wants change
We have none to give, he shouts
You F***ing N*ggers

A German deli
Swiss cheese pickle sandwiches
Bittle flips me off

(Bittle is Nolan and Devin's four year old brother. He didn't really know what he was doing)

Nightmare on 13th;
truly a horrifying
place, but way too packed.

Independent film,
pink bathrooms, free water cups,
theatre to ourselves

Skin-walkers and beasts,
a drive through the canyon. Please
check my place for ghosts.

A Denouncement

I am writing this post during Biology Class. See for yourself.


This is Devin. While we're on the subject of Biology let me get to the point of this post. The point is that School Sucks. Play is so much better. There's so many advantages to not going to school that society never teaches you. Stress is a good example of this. School does nothing but give you stress. Homework, tests, and fagget teachers(in my opinion all teachers are faggets)are all products of Hell and Satan and give you stress. Try and denounce me. Yeah thats what I thought. When was the last time you had homework, tests or fagget teachers that you actually liked? Never. Atleast thats how it is with me.
On the other side Play is awesome. It relieves stress, it makes you happy, and it provides something to do when you're not at school. So if nobody went to school then we could all be happy forever. Eat that webster.

Back by popular demand

Devins my name and being sexy's my game. Our fanbase requested a repost of the 50th blog material and I had to obey. This is the new updated version to "Boom" by Flight of the Choncords. Edited in like one minute flat. Sorry Nolan but this is funny and you know it.



Translate this Kimber, jvqqxyx bg ytl ten nspw.

Puzzle Time

It's Kimber again. I am angry at everthing in general, but at one thing in specific. Here's a fun game you can do to find out what the root of all evil is. First, figure out what the first quote says. Each letter corresponds to one letter in the alphabet. there isn't a pattern for how the letters relate to each other. After you've figured out the first quote, you can then decipher the second one, which holds a great cosmic truth which is the source of much frustration for me. Have fun.

muxe lvs’kx be ctbq, t yvvn akbxen mbqq wx rklbey rv wtbq lvs vsr. T wxgr akbxen mbqq wx be rux ixqq exjr rv lvs gtlbey, ‘Ntpe, rutr mtg ase’.

Itktqxx bg t rskn wktbe.

An Oddity

The previous post, as well as this one, was written by Kimber, Girl of Destiny.

As you all know, I got a new computer on Sunday. One which rocks. However, I noticed something weird about it. By Wednesday I had worn a little mark into the space bar. None of the other keys have worn down, but the space bar has a little polished spot in it where my thumb keeps hitting it. I imagine that it has a lot to do with the fact that, for the most part, the other keys are pressed down, whereas the space bar is swiped at, but still, that's a lot of space bar usage.

P.S. I'd like to take this opportunity to say that our 50th blog had a funny video on it, but Nolan took that down because he's a butt. He'll probably take this down too. He's a lot like oppressive governments in the fact that he doesn't like anything bad to be said about him ever.

I'm Getting a Piece of Paper That Says I'm Smart

After dropping some classes and rearranging my life and deciding to get only one major, I'm going to graduate in April. April, bitches, April. Suck on that.

By the way, do you always capitalize the month? I'm not sure, since it seems like a proper noun, but I don't really know. Anywho, back to the main subject.

The only problem is that I'm not sure what to do after I graduate. All I know is that I'm ready to breathe the sweet air of freedom. I imagine that an internship would be the smart thing to do, but I don't really have the energy yet to look for one. Maybe at the end of the month. I'd like to travel, but I don't really think I'm going to have the money to do that. It'd be really cool to be able to start working right away, but as I want to be a screenwriter, that's kind of hard to do, especially if one has a resume as short as mine.

What's probably going to happen, is that I end up working my crappy-just-to-get-by-job for the next year, and waste my life away until I have another flash of motivation, which, according to the pattern so far, won't happen again for another seven years.

Still, it's nice to think that my life might take off from this point on. Or that I'd at least be doing something with it. At the end of the day, though, I'm just happy that I'll be done with all this by April.

Bleagh!

Ung. Here is something. Look upon it and laugh since this is a picture of my Graphic Novel teacher that is about to rape an unlucky student. That's all for now. My name is Devin and all I ever do is post pictures. Screw writing.

Technology is Now My Friend, but My Fellow Students Aren't

This is Kimber. I have a new computer. Not new as in it was going to be thrown away so my dad gave it to me, new as in brand spanking new with no previous owner. New as in I'm the first one to touch it. New as in the newest, most expensive piece of technological equipment I've ever owned (that's pretty sad, considering it's a $450 laptop). I would now like everyone to stand up and do a happy dance with me. Go on, now, nobody's looking, and this is a joyous, joyous day.

The best part about my new computer is its size. Go to a bookstore or library, go into the history section, and pick up any medium-sized paperback. What you are holding is both heavier and larger than my new computer. Some people think it might be hard to type on such a small thing, but I have tiny hands. Some people think that it might be easy to lose, but I'm OCD. Some people may think it's a pathetic excuse for a computer, but I think it's adorable and perfectly capable of everything I need it to do. The only trouble is that the shift key is oddly placed, but I have faith I'll overcome that with enough practice.

What this means for you, dear reader, is lots more blogs from your favorite writer: yours truly. I can now blog in class while I'm pretending to take notes. I can now carry my computer everywhere with me and so blog whenever the impulse takes me. I can now compete with Devin's awesome little Mac. Actually, I can't; Macs are still better, but they're a hell of a lot more expensive.

Now that I've fully exhausted a topic in which only I had interest in the first place, we'll move on.

I hate group projects. Hate them. I'm in college, I think I've moved past the "make a presentation with a bunch of people you have nothing in common with other than the fact that you all needed this class for graduation" stage. I'm an adult, come on. This doesn't deter any of my teachers though, they still keep assigning group projects like they're going out of style (they are).

My latest frustration with this front is my British Literary History class which has us doing presentations on Spenser's Faerie Queen. The girls in my group are nice, but they're putting way too much work into it. I knew that this was going to be an arduous process at best, so I practically finished the presentation myself before we even met to talk about it. This didn't help though; we still spent an hour and a half talking about what the different characters represent and how that works into the overall allegory, even though Spenser himself clearly states what everything is supposed to mean at the beginning of the story.

To add insult to injury, a mentally handicapped girl came up to us and started telling us all about how much she loved the movie Titanic, and how much she hated the movie High School Musical. My group mates smiled at her, then ditched me, leaving me along to agree that Titanic was a magical movie one should never have to outgrow.

In short, I hate every single stupid person in my class except the professor, who is pretty smart, and even she gets a little hate for making us work in groups. Also, I'm supposed to go to Lisa's house to watch Titanic on Friday. We're going to make macaroni pictures afterward.

Boo-yah

This is Devin. I say boo-yah in the most unexciting way imaginable. As in, "Boo you suck" and "yah, I guess I could take the garbage out." So on that note lets get this post rolling.
Just so all you throngs upon throngs of readers know, Nolan and I both have Deviantfart accounts. Here is Nolans and here is mine. So just in case your interested you can click on those and check that out. In case you're not interested then here is a video that Kimber's been wanting to post for a while. Remember how Nolan and Kimber had that whole childish argument about Kimber and I having a non-existent relationship? Yeah so right after Kimber responded in a super intelligent manner Nolan called her up and left his own super intelligent message on her phone. So we took his message and imposed it over Nolan picking his nose.


Sorry kimber I know you wanted to write the post to this video but it wasn't getting done and I was running out of blog material. Sorry to our fanbase(Jerret) for not posting in a while. I think we've all been either too lazy or too busy.

Adventure time

I'm not Kimber and I'm not Nolan. Who could I be? I have no idea. You tell me. That almost rhymed.

So every monday night Nolan, Kimber, Jerret, me and this other guy named Jacob get together for a thing we like to call Nerd Night. Last time we held Nerd Night, we went on a walk through downtown Provo in order to campaign our blog through vandalism(Kimber wrote on some crap wooden rail with a sharpie). While Jarret, Nolan and I were having fun walking around, Kimber and Jacob decided to ditch us. So instead of trying to find our way back to Kimber's apartment, we instead went on a little exploring trip. Our discoveries included(but are not limited to) a buttload of stores that close after nine 'o' clock, a hobo(not in video), juice n' java, and some dirty confessions from Nolan and Jarret(yes, on the video). I'm just lucky they didn't rape me. Enjoy the video. It chronicles our many wayward endeavors.

By the way I love the office. This vid is not 'like' the office but lamer, its like the office only this is lame.

At the end of the video it says "Ah to be an Asian love slave" and "cool like 'hand luke'". These are just some of the weird messages written along with our blog campaign(Kimber did all the campaigning).